No Plan B for Emergency

My Oceania journey has begun! I arrived at Washington Dulles airport at around 2 am in the morning on Dec. 2nd and did not get out of Sydney international airport until 8 am in the morning on Dec. 4th. This, my friend, is called long distance traveling. The last of the three legs of my trip was over 16 hours from Houston, TX to Sydney Australia on the 787-900 Dream Liner. It is United Airline’s newest plane and it’s made of 100% carbon fiber. Pretty cool, ehh?

Even though the journey was long, it was a smooth one overall. The part that I always cringe at is when the flight attendants just “do their job” and garble their “emergency procedure” to me.

Please tell me if the following information makes sense to you...

On the last leg of my trip, I decided to challenge the ridiculous safety briefings they always give me. The safety talk is apparently called a “tree point airplane briefing”. The gist of this enlightening talk is, if there is ever an emergency, I am the last to get off. The irony is, during this “tree point” talk, the first thing they inform me is where the multiple exits are on the aircraft. Is it because they want to point out the various ways I could’ve lived? And because I am forced to be the last to get off in an actual emergency, they can’t possibly think I’ll live. I will say that I have accepted there is no Plan B for us individuals with disabilities. If there is ever a real emergency, peace ✌🏼 out!

Anyways, to continue with this “tree point briefing”, where the flight attendants give me “special instructions” on how I will most definitely die during a real emergency , he proceeds to say something even more outlandish. I asked this particular flight attendant how is it helpful for me to know where the exits are if I can’t get there and if I am forced to be the very last person to get off. And this is when I am flabbergasted by his response. He says I can give them “special instructions” on how they can help me out during the time of the emergency situation. Hearing how ludicrous this sounds, I asked if he wanted my “special instructions” now, he said no. Well, in that case, the only “special instruction” he will be getting is going to be from his boss on what to do with my remains and to tell my family of my death caused by United Airline’s discriminatory and brainless “tree point briefing”.

Just when I thought he couldn’t get anymore ridiculous, I asked how would the flight attendants get to me if everyone is running towards the four plus exits? He says they will assign random passengers to help me during an emergency. I asked what if they didn’t want to risk their lives for this stranger. He had no answer for me. I was too disappointed by United Airlines’ very half hazard emergency policy for people with disabilities to chase it further. I’m sure everything he said sounded ridiculous to him as well.

I finally said, does what you are saying make sense to you? He merely whimpered that it was his job to give me this briefing. Good to know this job does not require a brain.

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